Okie doke...So I finally "got to" get scanned again yesterday. It was more uncomfortable than it has been in the past. I'm assuming that's because there's more hormonal activity going on than I'm used to. The follicle had grown to be about 1.82cm. Dr Su feels that we can still do intrauterine insemination (IUI) during this cycle even tho the follicle is slow growing. So the game plan is for me to go into Urgent Care at 8pm tonight to receive an injection of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) . It is used to simulate the LH surge that "normal" women get when they are ovulating. It will be two shots, one in each hip. I should ovulate about 36 hours later (approximately 8am on Sunday Morning...I counted). We have an appointment on Sunday morning to go to the lab for a "sperm wash". Then once we have the little guys back we'll page the doctor to meet us at Urgent Care for the IUI procedure. This should be taking place around 11am or noon-ish if you want to say a quick prayer for me at that time. (if you want I could send a text message to remind you :) just let me know. email your number to me at lilpoobear76@gmail.com)
I'm experiencing extremely mixed emotions...I want to be positive and say "this WILL work this time!" but at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up. I'd rather go in expecting it NOT to work and then being pleasantly surprised if it does. The thing is, it will be about 2 weeks longer than "normal" for me to find out if I'm pregnant (if I don't start a period) because the HCG is the same hormone that a pregnancy test looks for. So if I do a pregnancy test before the injection wears off it will show that I'm pregnant whether I am or not. Talk about screwing with a gal's emotions!
After the IUI on Sunday I need to see my acupuncturist Dr Woon a couple of times a week for the next two weeks. These acupuncture treatments will hopefully stimulate my uterus to produce the blood supply that the possible growing embryo will need...to sort of help me hold on to it.
I'm also planning on seeing a Chiropractor soon. A couple of years ago I tweeked my back getting clothes out of the dryer and I've had sciatic problems since then. Well I've read that lower back problems can contribute to infertility as well, since the required nerves or blood vessels could be compromised by a misalignment. Kinda of nervous about that too since I've never had anyone crack my back!
And even tho I'm not happy about some of the changes at work I have to praise the Lord for my job and the health benefits I get as a result. The first time we tried IUI NOTHING was covered. Now I get partial coverage. Medications that cost me between $80 and $120 a pop last time? Now cost just my $15 copay! I could've cried the first time I went to fill the prescription! Thank you God! Maybe this is Your way of saying that NOW is finally the time. Help me to remember that Your timing is perfect. (Oh and it's ok that I'm missing church this one time to try to get pregnant, right?)
More later...
Friday, July 22, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
"Watched Pot" Part 3 ('scuse the rambling)
I've said it before and I'll say it again...NOTHING about this process is easy or convenient.
My mother in law had an appointment this morning. I had hoped to get in with Dr Su during the same time frame so I wouldn't have to make another trip in. No dice...he was in surgery until 3:30pm. I was on his schedule at 3:45pm, checked in about 3:15pm and was in a room by 3:30pm. Then I proceeded to sit there and wait...and wait... They really ought to make the walls thicker because I "got to" sit and listen to the gal in the next room talk about "we found out it is twins!...what will I do with two babies? Is there anything special I should do with twins? (um...buy extra diapers??) etc" It took everything in me to not run in there and punch her in the face. Ugh SOMEBODY shoot me now!! Aaaaaanyhoooo...I knew that Dr Su was in surgery and I knew I more than likely would not be seen until at least 4pm. By 4pm the nurse came back and said that Dr Su was still in surgery and she was told it would probably be after 5:00pm before he would be finished. He was too busy to talk to the nurse at the time so she had no direction for me. Do I wait around til after 5pm? Do I hang out in the area and await his call to see if I should come back? Do I just check in with him tomorrow? We didn't know. I have to appreciate that he was too busy at the time to offer any direction. If I was the patient on the table I would want his undivided attention too. So I decided to go do some shopping and wait for his call. Gotta be honest, I don't "feel" like I'm ovulating so I don't think I'm missing out on anything. Usually, on Clomid I can tell when I'm ovulating but not getting that same feeling this time. I've just been super uncomfortable for about 5 days, getting frequent sharp pains but just feeling the usual "cystic" activity. So I left the office and headed to Babies r Us. Why? cuz I'm a glutton for punishment? No, because my way of coping is to spoil the babies that I DO have in my life...right now that is my niece Quinn. She's not even been born yet but this Auntie is spoiling the crap out of her! So I bought some things for her room and got a little sample bottle of Baby Magic Lotion. I LOVE the smell of that lotion...I seriously get a buzz off of the smell. My kid will be slathered in that stuff!
I was just killing time waiting for the doc to call back. Short story long, he finally called back and said for me to just come in tomorrow for the ultrasound. So I've got to make contact tomorrow on my break. Good thing I work there I guess. The waiting continues...
Gotta go...my buzz is wearing off...time for another hit of lotion...
My mother in law had an appointment this morning. I had hoped to get in with Dr Su during the same time frame so I wouldn't have to make another trip in. No dice...he was in surgery until 3:30pm. I was on his schedule at 3:45pm, checked in about 3:15pm and was in a room by 3:30pm. Then I proceeded to sit there and wait...and wait... They really ought to make the walls thicker because I "got to" sit and listen to the gal in the next room talk about "we found out it is twins!...what will I do with two babies? Is there anything special I should do with twins? (um...buy extra diapers??) etc" It took everything in me to not run in there and punch her in the face. Ugh SOMEBODY shoot me now!! Aaaaaanyhoooo...I knew that Dr Su was in surgery and I knew I more than likely would not be seen until at least 4pm. By 4pm the nurse came back and said that Dr Su was still in surgery and she was told it would probably be after 5:00pm before he would be finished. He was too busy to talk to the nurse at the time so she had no direction for me. Do I wait around til after 5pm? Do I hang out in the area and await his call to see if I should come back? Do I just check in with him tomorrow? We didn't know. I have to appreciate that he was too busy at the time to offer any direction. If I was the patient on the table I would want his undivided attention too. So I decided to go do some shopping and wait for his call. Gotta be honest, I don't "feel" like I'm ovulating so I don't think I'm missing out on anything. Usually, on Clomid I can tell when I'm ovulating but not getting that same feeling this time. I've just been super uncomfortable for about 5 days, getting frequent sharp pains but just feeling the usual "cystic" activity. So I left the office and headed to Babies r Us. Why? cuz I'm a glutton for punishment? No, because my way of coping is to spoil the babies that I DO have in my life...right now that is my niece Quinn. She's not even been born yet but this Auntie is spoiling the crap out of her! So I bought some things for her room and got a little sample bottle of Baby Magic Lotion. I LOVE the smell of that lotion...I seriously get a buzz off of the smell. My kid will be slathered in that stuff!
I was just killing time waiting for the doc to call back. Short story long, he finally called back and said for me to just come in tomorrow for the ultrasound. So I've got to make contact tomorrow on my break. Good thing I work there I guess. The waiting continues...
Gotta go...my buzz is wearing off...time for another hit of lotion...
Monday, July 18, 2011
"Watched Pot" Part 2
Had follow up appointment with Dr Su today. Got scanned again and still not ready. Follicle only grew about .2cm since Friday. I guess I gotta get up to 2cm for it to be viable. Recheck again on Wednesday.
Friday, July 15, 2011
"A Watched Pot Never Boils"
Had my appointment today with Dr Su. He's so awesome! I've heard that most of his patients are fertility patients so I gather this is a science that he pretty much has nailed down to the best of his capability. He's great about getting you in for all the scans and checks that need to be done to see if ovulation is occuring. I'm so appreciative that I don't have to hear "Sorry, there's no appointments available". I know he comes in on weekends and such if that happens to be "the time" for his patients. He's a great doctor and I'm so fortunate to be one of his patients. Anyhow, enough about him...let's talk about me ;)
My appointment was a work-in appointment and I was just supposed to check in when I got off work at 3pm. I was in a room by 3:30! The nurse was SUPER nice and paid attention to a LOT of details (like my latex allergy, which comes into play during the ultrasound). Anyhow so I'm on the table for the ultrasound, which is a trans-vaginal ultrasound. Now "trans-vaginal" must translate to "near the throat" because I swear that's how far up the doc was scanning. Kidding! Don't want to scare any of my friends who may end up having the same processes to follow. Really it's not as uncomfortable as you might imagine...not something I want to go thru every day but it's no HSG (see previous blog). So Dr Su scans and wands my ovaries, measures the follicles and all that. Turns out I have a follicle in play but it's only 1cm. Not sure how big it NEEDS to be but evidently 1cm isn't it. I have to go back on Monday for another ultrasound and if it's the right size then insemination will be Wednesday.
I REALLY wish I could be like most people and just get pregnant the good old fashioned way. I HATE that it's so clinical and planned. I want our baby to be conceived in a night of passion not a clinical setting. Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of "want". NOTHING about this is convenient. I have Wednesday off. Cliff however, does not, but on Wednesday it IS kind of required for him to be there. I only have three shots at this...kind of nervous with all the "what-ifs"...
Alright, so....more to come on Monday. Will keep you posted...Get it? Blog? Post? I crack myself up!
Laters ;)
My appointment was a work-in appointment and I was just supposed to check in when I got off work at 3pm. I was in a room by 3:30! The nurse was SUPER nice and paid attention to a LOT of details (like my latex allergy, which comes into play during the ultrasound). Anyhow so I'm on the table for the ultrasound, which is a trans-vaginal ultrasound. Now "trans-vaginal" must translate to "near the throat" because I swear that's how far up the doc was scanning. Kidding! Don't want to scare any of my friends who may end up having the same processes to follow. Really it's not as uncomfortable as you might imagine...not something I want to go thru every day but it's no HSG (see previous blog). So Dr Su scans and wands my ovaries, measures the follicles and all that. Turns out I have a follicle in play but it's only 1cm. Not sure how big it NEEDS to be but evidently 1cm isn't it. I have to go back on Monday for another ultrasound and if it's the right size then insemination will be Wednesday.
I REALLY wish I could be like most people and just get pregnant the good old fashioned way. I HATE that it's so clinical and planned. I want our baby to be conceived in a night of passion not a clinical setting. Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of "want". NOTHING about this is convenient. I have Wednesday off. Cliff however, does not, but on Wednesday it IS kind of required for him to be there. I only have three shots at this...kind of nervous with all the "what-ifs"...
Alright, so....more to come on Monday. Will keep you posted...Get it? Blog? Post? I crack myself up!
Laters ;)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Hot Flashes...Blurred Vision...and Tears! Oh My!!
Ok, so as with any medication there are side effects to the Clomid that I'm taking. I am on the maximum "recommended" dosage which is 200mg.
The side effects are:
Then there's the blurred vision...the best way I can described it is like when we were kids and would blindfold each other for a game, you remove the blindfold and it takes a minute for your eyes to focus...PLUS when you have pictures done at a family function and it's like you're related to the paparazzi. The flashbulbs stop but the flashes don't *-* Yeah...It's like that EVERY time I blink.
And the last side effect I'll mention for today is the mood swings. I'm coming off of an AMAZING NKOTB experience (highest of highs for me!) and my brother's dog is missing and has been for a week now (lowest of lows). I feel like I'm frikkin bi-polar or something! It's been so hard with my brother's dog missing. My sister in law is 8+ months pregnant. I know she's not sleeping well (I wouldn't be!), not eating well, and she's profoundly sad. I'm SO sad for them. I've been trying to help but we're at a point where there really doesn't seem to be much we can do anymore. We've done the posters, the calls and visits to shelters and vet offices, canvasing the neighborhood. We've had leads, sightings, prank calls, and just plain jerks and even worse, NO calls :( ...more highs and lows. I stopped at the pound again today, praying that Shia's in there and I can just walk out with her. I walk in and check the book of animals..."tan and white Chihuahua" (HIGH!!) "male" (low). Then I walk thru the kennels that hold the strays that have been brought in. I ease up on each kennel hoping that I'll see her little nose popping thru the gate. I walked out disappointed and so very sad...heartbroken. I drove around their neighborhood again hoping for a sighting...anything. Again came up empty-handed. I'm sure that the medications only compound the sadness and disappointment. I cried the whole way home :'( I want so badly to have Shia back at home where she belongs so my brother and his wife can be happy and joyful with their daughter's impending arrival. This should be the greatest month of their lives and they are not able to enjoy it :/
Sorry, got a little off track there. It's just THAT's the foremost thought in our minds lately.
So here I sit sweating, blind, on an emotional roller-coaster...with two more doses of Clomid to take.
Dr's Appointment tomorrow afternoon to see if the Clomid is working to induce ovulation. *fingers crossed
The side effects are:
- multiples pregnancy (twins, triplets)<- this one is my favorite and the side effect I hope for :)
- Hot Flashes
- Bloating, Abdominal Discomfort
- Weight Gain
- Mood Swings
- Nausea, Dizziness
- Headaches
- Abnormal Menstrual Bleeding
- Breast Tenderness
- Vaginal Dryness or Thickened Cervical Fluid
- Blurred Vision
- Ovarian Cysts (how's THAT for irony)
- Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS)
Then there's the blurred vision...the best way I can described it is like when we were kids and would blindfold each other for a game, you remove the blindfold and it takes a minute for your eyes to focus...PLUS when you have pictures done at a family function and it's like you're related to the paparazzi. The flashbulbs stop but the flashes don't *-* Yeah...It's like that EVERY time I blink.
And the last side effect I'll mention for today is the mood swings. I'm coming off of an AMAZING NKOTB experience (highest of highs for me!) and my brother's dog is missing and has been for a week now (lowest of lows). I feel like I'm frikkin bi-polar or something! It's been so hard with my brother's dog missing. My sister in law is 8+ months pregnant. I know she's not sleeping well (I wouldn't be!), not eating well, and she's profoundly sad. I'm SO sad for them. I've been trying to help but we're at a point where there really doesn't seem to be much we can do anymore. We've done the posters, the calls and visits to shelters and vet offices, canvasing the neighborhood. We've had leads, sightings, prank calls, and just plain jerks and even worse, NO calls :( ...more highs and lows. I stopped at the pound again today, praying that Shia's in there and I can just walk out with her. I walk in and check the book of animals..."tan and white Chihuahua" (HIGH!!) "male" (low). Then I walk thru the kennels that hold the strays that have been brought in. I ease up on each kennel hoping that I'll see her little nose popping thru the gate. I walked out disappointed and so very sad...heartbroken. I drove around their neighborhood again hoping for a sighting...anything. Again came up empty-handed. I'm sure that the medications only compound the sadness and disappointment. I cried the whole way home :'( I want so badly to have Shia back at home where she belongs so my brother and his wife can be happy and joyful with their daughter's impending arrival. This should be the greatest month of their lives and they are not able to enjoy it :/
Sorry, got a little off track there. It's just THAT's the foremost thought in our minds lately.
So here I sit sweating, blind, on an emotional roller-coaster...with two more doses of Clomid to take.
Dr's Appointment tomorrow afternoon to see if the Clomid is working to induce ovulation. *fingers crossed
Monday, July 11, 2011
And So It Begins...
I had said I was taking a break from all the fertility stuff and would try again after my birthday. Well my birthday is August 10. The earliest I could get an appointment with the Group Health "specialist" was August 26th. (He's just a regular Ob/Gyn but he will do the "basic" infertility stuff like intra-uterine inseminations "IUI") Since my appointment was so far away and it's been nearly 10 years since we went this route, I called to see if there were any tests that I could do beforehand. Our first go-round I had to do ultrasounds and a lovely little procedure call a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). An HSG is where they jack you open like the Grand Canyon and shoot dye into your fallopian tubes under a fluoroscope to see if there are any blockages in the tubes. Anyhow, I was hoping that if these tests needed to be repeated due to the length of time in between, that I could get them out of the way while waiting for my appointment. The doctor called me Sunday night to answer my question. Thankfully the answer was "NO" I did not need to repeat that particular test. He agreed with my plan of trying IUI's for up to three more tries. He also said "I was supposed to be off this week but I'm actually back in clinic tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I have an opening. Could you come in at 10:30?" You mean, can I run downstairs on my lunch break to get the ball rolling?? Um HECK YEAH!
Now the first time we did fertility stuff it took months to titrate up to a dose of Clomid that actually made me ovulate, which ended up being the maximum dose. This time Dr Su did an ultrasound to check my ovaries, ordered a blood pregnancy test to insure that I'm not pregnant before starting the meds and ordered the maximum dose of the meds for me without making me wait the titration period.
Soooo, at this moment I'm not sure what to do! I still haven't gotten the results of the pregnancy test and he wanted me to start the meds tonight. I'm 99.9999999999999999% sure I'm not pregnant but what if? Guess I'll call first thing in the morning to see if I should go ahead and start. I HATE not starting the meds tonight. I'm ready to get this process in motion!!! I have a follow up ultrasound on Friday to see if the meds worked then we go from there. *Fingers crossed :)
Now the first time we did fertility stuff it took months to titrate up to a dose of Clomid that actually made me ovulate, which ended up being the maximum dose. This time Dr Su did an ultrasound to check my ovaries, ordered a blood pregnancy test to insure that I'm not pregnant before starting the meds and ordered the maximum dose of the meds for me without making me wait the titration period.
Soooo, at this moment I'm not sure what to do! I still haven't gotten the results of the pregnancy test and he wanted me to start the meds tonight. I'm 99.9999999999999999% sure I'm not pregnant but what if? Guess I'll call first thing in the morning to see if I should go ahead and start. I HATE not starting the meds tonight. I'm ready to get this process in motion!!! I have a follow up ultrasound on Friday to see if the meds worked then we go from there. *Fingers crossed :)
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