Saturday, March 24, 2012

Celebrating The Little Victories

So often we become overwhelmed by the "big problems" in our lives that we overlook the little victories.  Not wanting to take anything for granted, these are my victories this week.

  • I took/sometimes ran the stairs at work every day for the last 2 weeks.
  • It's taking me less time to recover after running the stairs at work for 2 weeks.
  • I didn't die in the stairwell at work even tho there were times I thought I might
  • I actually have muscles developing in my legs
  • I can't see my gut sticking out past my boobs any more
  • I'm finally down to only two chins
  • My insulin levels, while not improving,  are not getting worse
  • My testosterone level came down 20 points and is only 10 points away from where it was when I was having regular cycles without meds.
  • My weight has not gone up at all this week
One of my favorite Scripture verses has always been Phillipians 4:13.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength"

Losing weight may not seem like that big of a problem to you but I've struggled with it most of my life.  I've been bullied and teased because of it.  I've had my heart broken by words and actions because of it.  I've had my dreams of motherhood wounded by it.  It seems like an insurmountable obstacle when I think that I need to lose another 100lbs on top of the 47 that I've lost so far.  I can lose this extra weight because Jesus Christ gives me the strength to.  I don't have to be strong enough, because He is. 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I Get To

So often my posts seem negative...usually because I'm venting about the whole PCOS sucks/I can't get pregnant thing.  This past week I've had reminder upon reminder that there is so much to be thankful for.
This past week we marked the 24th year since my Uncle was killed by a drunk driver.  I never really had the chance to know him but I know my mom feels the pain of his loss.  The anniversary reminded me that life is but a vapor and can be dissipated at any moment.
Yesterday I lost a "sister".  For those of you not into the whole NKOTB thing there is a sisterhood that we share.  In our own weird (to you) little way we are a family. We are each other's support system.  We carry each other's burdens, share each other's interests and hurt when one of us hurts.  Yesterday Andrea was taken in a horrible car accident, leaving her family, her million sisters and 5 brothers to mourn her loss.  And yes, the members of NKOTB did take notice and offer their condolences.  Anyhow, Andrea was driving to work and then she was gone...a vapor in the wind.  How precious life is. How grateful we should be for the little things in life that are precious.  Often those "things" are not really things at all.  They are people.  I'm so very thankful for my family....For my husband who loves me no matter how gnarly I look in the mornings and tolerates my NKOTB obsession. I'm thankful for my parents and brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles.  I've been blessed with amazing in-laws, 10 nieces and nephews, and 7 great-nieces and nephews.  I'm thankful for my 5 brothers and million sisters, who "get it".
Too often we focus on the things we have to do versus what we get to do.  I don't HAVE to go to work.  I GET to go to a job that has great health benefits.  I don't HAVE to go to church.  I GET to worship when people in other countries can't.  I don't HAVE to spend time with my family.  I GET to.
I'm also so very grateful that I get to spend my days off with my brother's daughter.  I get baby time and she gets spoiled.  It works out well for the both of us.  I never get anything done when she's here tho.  Not that I can't handle doing things around the house with a baby here, but like Aerosmith says "I don't wanna miss a thing".  My time with her is so precious to me that I don't want to spend it cleaning the bathroom (which I should be doing now) or doing dishes. I don't HAVE to watch her.  I GET to.  I don't have to change her diapers or make her bottles.  I GET to.  I don't HAVE to rock her to sleep and hold her while she dreams peacefully (although sometimes with her eyes open which REALLY grosses me out).  I GET to hold her.  These moments are my greatest joys.


I don't HAVE to do anything....I GET to!