Monday, September 30, 2013

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

How many times have you been in the check out line at the grocery store and had that person in front of you dressed to the nines, hair professionally done, nails professionally done with the newest smartphone out there, using WIC coupons?  I know I used to get so bugged that my hard earned money was being taxed for them to squander their funds and require state assistance.  It never once dawned on me that they could be a foster parent, caring for a child that someone had neglected or abused.  I never once stopped to think that maybe there was more to the story than what it appeared to be.  The thought never crossed my mind until I was the one using the coupons.  I try to go to the store on an "off" time so it's not as crowded.  I do this for 2 reasons... 1) using the coupons is a pain in the butt.  Each coupon is for a "batch" of items and have to be done in separate transactions.  For instance I get about 6 different coupons for Sweet Pea.  These 6 coupons purchase 6 cans of formula, 2 boxes of cereal, and 32 jars of baby food.  Why that can't all be listed on one coupon is beyond me.  So there I am in line with my "regular" purchase and my additional 6 transactions.  2) I feel like I'm being judged because of the way I'm dressed (whether dressed up or not) and using the coupons.  Are they really giving me dirty looks or is that just my perception?  Because I used to be so judgmental I feel like maybe everyone around me is judging me for using them.  I always feel like I have to justify my usage and say things like "Yeah, my foster daughter sure eats a lot"...Like I owe them an explanation for me using them??  The only thing I suppose I should feel badly about is the multiple transactions.  Yes, I am *that* person that holds up the line but seriously would YOU want to make 6 different trips to the store (Walmart because they're the only ones who stock enough of her special formula) to get 8 little jars of baby food at a time??!!  Maybe if Walmart had more than 3 check outs going at any given time of the day I might make more trips...but it's doubtful.

Being a foster parent has taught me to think about things a little differently....and maybe now you'll think a little differently the next time you're in the check out line behind someone like me ;)

Monday, September 16, 2013

Long Time No Blog

Hi...Remember me?  Sorry it's been a while since my last post.  I've been...uh...busy.  I've been busy with diaper changes, baths, bottles, doctors appointments....loooooooots of doctor's appointments, and cuddles...looooooooots of cuddles.  I have loved every minute of being a mom, even the hard minutes of breathing treatments and antibiotics.  In the last 4 1/2 months the baby has had RSV twice, Pneumonia at least twice possibly 3 times, bronchiolitis twice, and 2 ear infections.  It's been very challenging but she's finally doing really well.  She had an appointment with her pulmonary doctor today and he said she's doing great!  She's 26 1/2 inches tall and weighs 16lbs 10.8 oz!
So, ready for some happy updates?!  When baby came to us she was on seizure medication because her previous foster mom had reported "seizure activity" but could never get documentation (video) of said activity.  On August 9th Sweet Pea had a "100% normal EEG" and the Doctor said we could start weaning her off of the medication!  Yay!!  She took her last dose last Monday on my first day home with her. Which brings me to happy news #2! 
All of my life, all I've ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom.  That was only emphasized when we got Sweet Pea.  It killed me to leave her for 8+ hours per day knowing we'll only have her for a few more months.  I don't want to miss anything with her.  My husband and I talked about what it would take for me to be able to quit my job.  When we got Sweet Pea, I split our finances up just to see if we could live off of Cliff's income alone.  Time showed we could.  We'd have to cut back on some things but we could make it work.  Then my husband got a raise! We discussed it in more detail because it looked like after all this time and me always talking about "when I get to stay home..." I was actually going to get to quit my job and raise babies!!  Around the same time, there were changes that were going to be taking place with my job and my boss kept talking about "we'll have you on this work group" and "we'll send you to this class/meeting/etc".  I didn't feel it was right to keep my boss in the dark about my intentions to leave when she kept making references about my future in my current position.  So I ended up giving about a 6 week notice instead of the customary 2 weeks.  I have not been happier.  Last week was my first full week as a stay at home mom.  I got absolutely nothing accomplished and loved every second.
I am SO very grateful for my husband who is willing to take the responsibility for being the sole financial supporter for our family.  I'm grateful that it is as important to him as it is to me to stay home with our kids.  I'm grateful he loves me enough to help make my dream a reality.
I'll be honest...I never thought I could ever possibly be this happy.  NEVER in my life has anything gone the way I'd dreamed or imagined it.  Other than meeting NKOTB, none of my dreams have ever become a reality until now.  I've never been this happy with my life.  It's such a foreign feeling.  Am I allowed to be this happy?  When is the other shoe going to drop?  I picture myself walking in an open field and a piano falling out of the sky and landing directly on me.  At my funeral, people will shake their head and say "it was the darndest thing.  outta frikkin nowhere a piano BAM!!!  Just when everything was going so good for her". Nah, I'll not look a gift  horse in the mouth.  I'll take this joy with me every day for the rest of my life.  Even on rough days, I'll remember what it was like for someone to call me "Mom-mom" and smile from the depths of my soul.

Now that I'm not working hopefully I'll be able to blog a little more often.  Lots of changes will be coming our way as things are lined up for Sweet Pea to transition to her home, wherever that may be.  I'll be sure to keep everyone updated because when the time comes, Cliff and I will need the support.  We've grown to love her SO MUCH that it will rip our hearts out when she leaves.  We can use all the support and prayer our friends can offer. 
Thank you all for your support up to this point!  We really appreciate everything :)