Our Infertility Adoption Story- There's No Such Thing As An Unwanted Child or Pregnancy

Friday, May 16, 2014

Mother's Day And Other Things

May 11, 2014 Mother's Day...my second one!  There were lots of tears again.  I guess it's just not in the cards for me to NOT cry on Mother's Day!  I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mom and parent this little girl that God has brought into our lives for this season.  She is a hoot!  We had a really good day together.  First of all Baby Girl was healthy this year!  No all night in the steamy bathroom.  No nebulizer every 4 hours.  We both got a full night of sleep!  It was great! We went to church where we both cried...she cried when I left her in the nursery and I cried throughout the service.  After church we went to brunch with the Grandmas.  It was really nice to be able to enjoy the day and not have to worry about breathing issues....makes all the difference in the world.  Later, while Sweet Pea played, giggling with her daddy, as I heard the pitter patter of her little bare feet on the hardwood, I cried again.  These are the moments I treasure, the sounds I've longed for.  It was a wonderful day :)

I started this blog initially to address what it's like living with PCOS.  I kind of got away from that when the focus of my life changed.  I still live with PCOS of course and it's been a rough couple of weeks.  I've been in pain quite often from the ovarian cysts and extremely irritable, just ask Cliff.  My biggest frustration, in addition to the pain and irritability, is probably one of the most taboo subjects related to PCOS...hirsutism, or in lay terms unwanted hair growth.  This is growing hair in places that men typically have excess hair (chest, face, back).  Few things make you feel as un-feminine as having to deal with facial and chest hair.  I don't mean like that one random chin hair that you pluck once a month or weekly and you're done with it.  I'm talking full on man beard you deal with every day.  (I can't believe I'm actually discussing this. It's so embarrassing!) I've tried so many things to get rid of it and nothing is effective.  There are pills you can take that will slow down the growth a little.  I'll be talking to my doctor soon about that.  It was never an option before because I was trying to get pregnant and you shouldn't take that medication if pregnant.  It only slows down the growth though.  I'd love to try laser removal but that's a little out of my price range right now.  It's so frustrating, irritating, embarrassing...pick your adjective.  It affects my self esteem, as if the weight problem wasn't enough.  I am super self conscious about even kissing my husband for fear he can feel the stubble...ugh, i mean c'mon...that is so not sexy!  Remember that someone with PCOS is dealing with a LOT that you may not see.  We live with pain, mood swings, and man beards.  Many days we don't feel beautiful or even slightly pretty.  We're more prone to depression because of the hormone issues and the things that happen with our bodies that we have little to no control over.   Anyhoooo...that's my PCOS PSA for today.

Soooo let's see....what else is going on.... Oh, we're house hunting!  We want to get a bigger house. We're thinking about getting licensed to be able to take more that one foster child.  Some days I think we've lost our minds as Sweet Pea reminds me daily that I'm not getting any younger.  My reasoning is this-  We cannot adopt Sweet Pea.  At this moment in time she is not eligible for adoption.  As long as she is in our care (which has already been twice as long as we were first told) we are not able to take a foster child that we COULD potentially adopt.  This doesn't mean that we can't adopt a child if you knew of someone *hint, hint*, but we can't take in another foster child that may eventually need a forever home.  So we need more bedrooms!  Let the house  hunting begin!  Woohoo!

Update on Sweet Pea- Basically there's still nothing to report.  Her visits with her family have increased but that's about it.  I'm almost positive she will return home and it will be sooner than I'm prepared for.  I cry at random times thinking about her leaving us.  When her visit supervisor picked her up the other day, she walked to the car herself, holding the hand of the visit supervisor.  About halfway across the yard she stopped and turned around, blew me a kiss and said "Bye-Bye".  My mind flashed to the day when she does that, not realizing that she's not coming back and I started bawling.  I wonder how I'll deal with her return home.

She's so stinking smart.  Most kids her age have about a 10-15 word vocabulary.  She is up to 30+ words and phrases.  Her favorite words are Daddy, bird, and Allie (our dog).  She usually gets to feed the fish with Daddy when he gets home.  One day he started without her.  She went running to the other room saying "Daaaaddy, what doing!?"  She loves to "read" her books oh and her new favorite pastime is playing in the toilet *gross*.  She loves to be outside and loves playing with bubbles. She can be very mischievous and I'm pretty sure she thinks my favorite word is "no-no".

If you are willing would you please include us in your prayers?
Please pray for

  •  us to find the right house
  • strength as we face her transition home
  • her continued health (no respiratory problems since Nov!  We'd like for it to stay that way!)

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