I am nothing if not persistent... or stubborn, whatever you want to call it. I don't give up easily. So today, I try again. Today we are having our 3rd IUI. Gotta admit I'm a little scared. What if this one doesn't work either? Then I know that we have to move on to the more complicated/expensive stuff.
The good news is I think I may actually be ovulating this time. Even on fertility meds I still have long cycles and I think we've just been premature in our timing up to this point. I had ultrasound on Tuesday (CD 15) that showed I *actually* had a follicle that was *actually* the size we need for it to be! Exciting!! I told hubby and he seemed happy about the progress. Few things are funnier than your husband talking towards his lap saying "Alright boys! Better bring your "A" game!" TMI?? lol
I've also started "temping"...monitoring your basal temperature (your body temp when you first wake up). Your body temp fluctuates based on where you are in your cycle and you can determine if ovulation has occurred by the drops/spikes in temp. Thank God for a phone app that keeps track and charts it for you otherwise I might lose my mind.
I was a baking fool on Monday. Had appointments with both Dr Su and Dr Woon on Tuesday. I wanted to take them a little something to show my appreciation for their dedication to "my cause". I tried to do that with magic cookie bars and blondie brownies because I swear there aren't words enough to express my gratitude. Dr Su, yet again, came in on his day off to see me. I'm almost sure he's an angel 0:-)
Dr Woon is now out of the office for the next two weeks...yes, right at the time when I need him most. He has been kind enough to refer me to another acupuncturist for treatments for these two weeks. Getting a hold of her has been a royal pain and she's not returned my calls. I really don't need the stress of trying to schedule appointments with her. I doubt that as a secondary referral/new patient that she will be as accommodating as Dr Woon has been, which is kind of worrying me.
I'm scared of the depression that I'm sure will set in if this doesn't work. I just want to get pregnant just so I know it's even possible! I usually get depressed around this time of year anyway but to have this struggle on top of my usually holiday blues will be excruciating...again. I will likely not blog again until after the holidays. For one, I'll just be busy, as I'm sure you will be, getting ready for the holiday get-togethers. For another, this is the usual 2 week waiting period to see if this IUI "takes" or not. (Here's your fair warning that my first blog of 2012 may be a little depressing) I'm trying to stay positive but in the face of so much disappointment it's quite taxing on a soul...my soul to be exact. So in two weeks we will be heading into a New Year. Here's hoping that 2012 starts off on a POSITIVE note.
I pray Peace and Joy for you and your families this holiday season.
Have a Merry CHRISTmas!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
If At First You Don't Succeed...
Try, Try again...and again and again....then try some more.
This will be cycle #4 and IUI #3 (this go 'round) providing that my body responds to the Clomid. Tomorrow I start my 5 day regimen of 250mg of Clomid. Next Friday, I will be having an ultrasound to check for follicles. Dr Su is willing to do 3 IUI's before he refers you to a specialist. So I'm trying again. I'm not giving up. If I'm anything it's stubborn. It runs in the family.
I'm still in awe of what an awesome medical team I have. Both doctors I work with are just amazing to me. I swear it seems that Dr Su gets just as disappointed as I do when the IUI's don't work. I'm so fortunate to have such incredible, caring, compassionate, persistent doctors helping me.
I did cancel my endocrine appointment in Seattle. The only reason I wanted to see that doc was to get a referral to the PCOS guy here in Tacoma. Turns out that Dr Su can do the same referral so I figured why waste the gas and time to drive to Seattle.
I feel kind of bad...Today one of my coworkers was afraid to tell me she is pregnant. I hate that. I don't want people to feel like they cant tell me about their pregnancies. I do appreciate that she was sensitive to what I've been dealing with but I hate that people worry about telling me. Please know that I am truly happy for you if you are expecting. If you tell me you're pregnant, I promise you I will smile and congratulate you and most importantly I'll mean it! How I feel about my situation and my response to yours can literally be a flip of a coin at any given moment of any day. Today...right now... I'm doing ok...no tears, no self pity. I really am happy for her. Timing really is everything. Tomorrow could be different. I could have a totally different reaction but that's for me to deal with. It's what I have to do. The world doesn't stop because someone other than me gets pregnant. Oh sure, I could totally have a meltdown but then I pick myself up, dust myself off and carry on. Again, it's what I have to do :)
Changing the subject, I'm getting a little nervous. I'm making a wedding cake next weekend. The bride is someone I used to babysit. I made her first birthday cake. How's that for surreal? I always get nervous making cakes but for some reason I am SUPER nervous about this one. My head tells me it will be fine...now if someone could just tell my stomach to quit flip-flopping that would be swell.
So far this holiday season I've maintained my weight so that's a blessing. I haven't lost any more but I didn't gain any over Thanksgiving. I'd like to lose another 10lbs before seeing the PCOS guy (since he's the one who told me to have gastric bypass, lose 100lbs then come back to see him) I'm quite proud that I've lost 40lbs so far without having the surgery. I just knew it wouldn't matter if I had the surgery if I wasn't going to change the way I eat. I'd probably lose more if I would exercise. ;) I just hate to sweat...it's gross. I guess I'll have to bust out the elliptical again if I want to knock out that 10lbs. Who knows maybe I'll even knock out 20lbs!
*fingers crossed!
This will be cycle #4 and IUI #3 (this go 'round) providing that my body responds to the Clomid. Tomorrow I start my 5 day regimen of 250mg of Clomid. Next Friday, I will be having an ultrasound to check for follicles. Dr Su is willing to do 3 IUI's before he refers you to a specialist. So I'm trying again. I'm not giving up. If I'm anything it's stubborn. It runs in the family.
I'm still in awe of what an awesome medical team I have. Both doctors I work with are just amazing to me. I swear it seems that Dr Su gets just as disappointed as I do when the IUI's don't work. I'm so fortunate to have such incredible, caring, compassionate, persistent doctors helping me.
I did cancel my endocrine appointment in Seattle. The only reason I wanted to see that doc was to get a referral to the PCOS guy here in Tacoma. Turns out that Dr Su can do the same referral so I figured why waste the gas and time to drive to Seattle.
I feel kind of bad...Today one of my coworkers was afraid to tell me she is pregnant. I hate that. I don't want people to feel like they cant tell me about their pregnancies. I do appreciate that she was sensitive to what I've been dealing with but I hate that people worry about telling me. Please know that I am truly happy for you if you are expecting. If you tell me you're pregnant, I promise you I will smile and congratulate you and most importantly I'll mean it! How I feel about my situation and my response to yours can literally be a flip of a coin at any given moment of any day. Today...right now... I'm doing ok...no tears, no self pity. I really am happy for her. Timing really is everything. Tomorrow could be different. I could have a totally different reaction but that's for me to deal with. It's what I have to do. The world doesn't stop because someone other than me gets pregnant. Oh sure, I could totally have a meltdown but then I pick myself up, dust myself off and carry on. Again, it's what I have to do :)
Changing the subject, I'm getting a little nervous. I'm making a wedding cake next weekend. The bride is someone I used to babysit. I made her first birthday cake. How's that for surreal? I always get nervous making cakes but for some reason I am SUPER nervous about this one. My head tells me it will be fine...now if someone could just tell my stomach to quit flip-flopping that would be swell.
So far this holiday season I've maintained my weight so that's a blessing. I haven't lost any more but I didn't gain any over Thanksgiving. I'd like to lose another 10lbs before seeing the PCOS guy (since he's the one who told me to have gastric bypass, lose 100lbs then come back to see him) I'm quite proud that I've lost 40lbs so far without having the surgery. I just knew it wouldn't matter if I had the surgery if I wasn't going to change the way I eat. I'd probably lose more if I would exercise. ;) I just hate to sweat...it's gross. I guess I'll have to bust out the elliptical again if I want to knock out that 10lbs. Who knows maybe I'll even knock out 20lbs!
*fingers crossed!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)