Well, here we are. 2011 is history and we face 2012 filled with hopes and dreams. If you are a regular reader of this blog you know exactly what MY hopes and dreams for the year are.
On December 27th I had another rough night. I could feel the changes in my body that could only mean one thing...our third IUI didn't work. I was heartbroken and couldn't contain the emotion as I cried myself to sleep yet again. On the 29th I knew for sure that our last attempt was unsuccessful. Thankfully due to my previous breakdown I was able to maintain my composure at work that day. I only teared up if I was left alone too long and had opportunity to think about my situation. I'm thankful for my two coworkers who had me laughing for most of the day though. I contacted Dr Su to ask for the referral to see a reproductive endocrinologist at Seattle Reproductive Medicine. This is the same doctor that I'd seen before that told me to have gastric bypass, lose 100 lbs and then come back to see him. I am hoping that going in to this with a different frame of mind than I had before will be to my benefit. Last time I went in with the money to have IVF (in-vitro fertilization-where they take the eggs out of your body, mix them with the sperm, create embryos in a petri dish, grow them for a little bit then put them back into your body). The doctor said "You probably don't need IVF. We just need to make you ovulate. Take the money you would've paid for IVF, have gastric bypass, lose 100lbs then come back". What I heard was "I don't want to help you because you are fat". Well I didn't have the surgery because I knew that it would not benefit me at all to have the surgery if I wasn't going to change the way I ate. Why spend the money and time on recovery if all I needed was a little lifestyle change. So I slowly made changes to the way I ate and last year lost 40 of the 100lbs. That was just diet changes... no exercise. The important thing to note is that I kept it off (with the exception of the "Holiday 3" that I gained back). Those should drop off quickly now that I'm out of egg nog and blondie brownies. This year I'm hoping to get over my "I hate to exercise" thing and lose the other 60lbs. My goal is to lose at least another 5lbs prior to my appointment on the 24th of this month. I am thankful for my job which provides amazing health insurance. Even though most insurances wont cover anything to do with infertility, my employer provides some coverage. My office visits as well as any labs and xrays done are covered!
Oh, I did finally get a hold of the other acupuncturist that I had to see while Dr Woon was on vacation. I saw her a couple of times after the last IUI. She was a little....different. She took my pulse and said that "it told her" I was/am anemic. She suspects an absorption problem since I am currently taking prenatal vitamins and should be getting enough iron. However thanks to the power of suggestion I've been feeling fatigued ever since. That is another thing to discuss with the Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) Dr Dudley, when I see him.
So that's the update on me. I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions just because I never follow thru but this year I made one. Last Christmas will be my last childless Christmas. I am hopeful that I will either get pregnant or we will be adopting this year. I fully intend to be a mom soon.
Now switching topics...I hate to see an injustice being committed and no one standing up to right that wrong. That's why I am so proud of my cousin Jake's wife, Ashley. You see, their son is autistic. They were looking at the possibility of getting a service dog to aid in keeping their son focused at school and safe from possible wandering, as children with autism often do. After a selection process, they were told by Animals for Autism that they were selected to receive a service dog for free because of a grant made by Pepsi. Long story short...scam. (To read more details see her blog Stinkerbabies) I encourage you to follow the story because it's just getting good....making the news circuit and now the Attorney General is involved. I'm proud of her for standing up for herself, her son and the 9 other families that have been dealing with this. She has started off 2012 as a force to be reckoned with! I'm hopeful that God will provide a service dog for their son. I'm glad that Ashley and the other families are bringing to light what has happened and hope that this prevents any other families from being victims of the same/similar scams. I am sorry however that my family, or anyone's family for that matter, has had to go thru this ordeal. Keep fighting Ashley!
Happy New Year everyone! May ALL of our wishes and dreams come to life this year!