A Rolling Ball And A Blessing

At the last writing I was kind of stressing over the remodel of our bathroom and selecting an agency to begin our adoption process.  Well, the bathroom is completed and looks great (I think).

Before...                                                                      After!!!

This transformation only took 6 days to complete.  However, it was a loooooooong 6 days!

We also decided the route we want to take in pursuing an adoption.  We've contacted the local Youth for Christ office.  They have a foster to adopt program and we are thinking this is what we should do.  I wasn't sure that I could do a foster to adopt situation.  I'm scared to death that a child would be placed in my home and then taken from me to be reunited with their birth family.  Then I found out that I can determine the "type" of child/placement we want.  For instance, I can specify that I would prefer that a child that is placed with us be mostly "legally free".  This means that they will most likely be put up for adoption.  This can be determined by previous history (has the birthmom had other children taken from her by CPS? were parental rights terminated? etc), could be a "safe haven" baby,  things like that.  I submitted the "foster care interest" form online at about 8am and received a call from YFC at about 10am!  The lady I spoke with said she would get an information packet in the mail to me.  I received that the next day.  There are quite a few forms to complete but I look forward to the writer's cramp :)  There is a lot to do in this process...CPR/HIV classes, PRIDE classes, physicals (for us and the animals), finger printing, background checks, bio's to complete...Wow!  Lots to do, but we got the ball rolling!
Switching topics for a bit...I attended two funerals/memorials today.  My heart was so heavy for my friends who had to say goodbye to their loved ones.  I prayed that I would be able to be an encouragement to my friends in the midst of their loss.  One of the services was for my friend's mom.  She lived to be 83  years old and was a very Godly woman.  At the service I learned that she had been a missionary in Hawaii, that she would host Bible clubs for children in her home and that she was a fervent prayer warrior.  I didn't know her but if a woman's child is any testament to her character, seeing what an awesome guy her son is, she was a remarkable woman.  During the service, my friend Beth spoke of her mother in law and how, even in the darkest stages of dementia she had a clarity of mind when she prayed.  Beth would share a concern with mom and she was faithful to pray for the concern/request.  I later found out that our situation was one that she had lifted in prayer.  Also during the service, I was blessed to hear one of my favorite hymns "It Is Well", sung in Samoan...sung by a choir of her friends and family.  It was one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard.  Here I had prayed that I would be an encouragement and I was the one being encouraged.  What a blessing!

 

Motherhood

 

I AM a mom...I just don't have my child yet

 

My Head May Explode...

So it's been a month since my last post.  Not much has happened.  However, next week I'll be busier than a (insert your own politcally incorrect euphemism here), so I figured I better post something now.  Next week, we are having our bathroom rebuilt and I'm geting ready for an adoption fundraising yard sale next weekend.  I've looked at so many pedestal sinks I want to throw up in the next one I see.  I've looked at bathroom fixtures until my eyes crossed.  I've googled so many adoption agencies my head started hurting. 
Why does it have to be so difficult to find an adoption agency!?  I don't want to have to spend so much on my adoption that I'll be paying for that AND my child's college tuition at the same time!  I don't want to have to work after we adopt.  I've waited a LONG time to have a baby.  I do NOT want to have to put my baby in daycare.  There are so many options when it comes to adoption that I just don't know where to turn.  I sought out the social worker at work.  I told her I had some questions about adoption.  She cocked her head to one side and says "Did you know that my background is in adoption?!"  Um noooooooo, I seriously had no idea.  She gave me a few resources but even with that bit of direction I'm not sure where to go/what to do.  I wish that you could compare adoption agencies side by side like you can pedestal bathroom sinks.  It would make this SOOOO much easier!
In addition to the bathroom stuff, yard sale stuff (which has included cleaning and purging every room in my house), adoption stuff I've also gotten involved with a relatively new local charity.  It's called Charlie's Dinosaur and it's named for Charlie Powell or more correctly for his dinosaur drawing.  It's an awesome charity in honor of the boys and is being run by some very busy sheriff's detectives.  I offered to assist and they're taking me up on my offer!  I'm so excited to be a part of this amazing program and can't wait to see what it grows in to!!
With all of the Charlie's Dinosaur ideas floating around in my head in addition to all my personal stuff (bathroom remodel, cleaning, purging, googling, adoption etc) my head is just swimming in information.  I can't concentrate on anything.  I have a difficult time sleeping because I just can't turn my brain off and rest.  When I do fall asleep, it's not a good sleep because I'm dreaming about all of these things. 
My newest addiction is watching "Guiliana & Bill".  Their story encourages me and inspires me.  At the same time it makes me think..."Hmmm maybe I should give up on the adoption thing and find a uterus to borrow".  Anyone not using theirs for the next 9 months or so?! lol
Anyhooooo....praying for God's direction because I seriously have not a clue.  I KNOW I will be a mom one day.  How that will happen I don't know for sure but I trust God's got a perfect plan.  I just REALLY hope He manifests that sooner rather than later.