Our Infertility Adoption Story- There's No Such Thing As An Unwanted Child or Pregnancy

Thursday, September 13, 2012

My Head May Explode...

So it's been a month since my last post.  Not much has happened.  However, next week I'll be busier than a (insert your own politcally incorrect euphemism here), so I figured I better post something now.  Next week, we are having our bathroom rebuilt and I'm geting ready for an adoption fundraising yard sale next weekend.  I've looked at so many pedestal sinks I want to throw up in the next one I see.  I've looked at bathroom fixtures until my eyes crossed.  I've googled so many adoption agencies my head started hurting. 
Why does it have to be so difficult to find an adoption agency!?  I don't want to have to spend so much on my adoption that I'll be paying for that AND my child's college tuition at the same time!  I don't want to have to work after we adopt.  I've waited a LONG time to have a baby.  I do NOT want to have to put my baby in daycare.  There are so many options when it comes to adoption that I just don't know where to turn.  I sought out the social worker at work.  I told her I had some questions about adoption.  She cocked her head to one side and says "Did you know that my background is in adoption?!"  Um noooooooo, I seriously had no idea.  She gave me a few resources but even with that bit of direction I'm not sure where to go/what to do.  I wish that you could compare adoption agencies side by side like you can pedestal bathroom sinks.  It would make this SOOOO much easier!
In addition to the bathroom stuff, yard sale stuff (which has included cleaning and purging every room in my house), adoption stuff I've also gotten involved with a relatively new local charity.  It's called Charlie's Dinosaur and it's named for Charlie Powell or more correctly for his dinosaur drawing.  It's an awesome charity in honor of the boys and is being run by some very busy sheriff's detectives.  I offered to assist and they're taking me up on my offer!  I'm so excited to be a part of this amazing program and can't wait to see what it grows in to!!
With all of the Charlie's Dinosaur ideas floating around in my head in addition to all my personal stuff (bathroom remodel, cleaning, purging, googling, adoption etc) my head is just swimming in information.  I can't concentrate on anything.  I have a difficult time sleeping because I just can't turn my brain off and rest.  When I do fall asleep, it's not a good sleep because I'm dreaming about all of these things. 
My newest addiction is watching "Guiliana & Bill".  Their story encourages me and inspires me.  At the same time it makes me think..."Hmmm maybe I should give up on the adoption thing and find a uterus to borrow".  Anyone not using theirs for the next 9 months or so?! lol
Anyhooooo....praying for God's direction because I seriously have not a clue.  I KNOW I will be a mom one day.  How that will happen I don't know for sure but I trust God's got a perfect plan.  I just REALLY hope He manifests that sooner rather than later.

1 comment:

  1. So.....which sink did you pick??? Praying for you Tamra!!!