Monday, April 23, 2012
NIAW Day 2
What is infertility?Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system often diagnosed after a couple has had one year of unprotected, well-timed intercourse, or if the woman has suffered from multiple miscarriages and the woman is under 35 years of age. If the woman is over 35 years old, it is diagnosed after 6 months of unprotected, well-timed intercourse.
My history= I'm almost 36 years old and I've been off of any kind of birth control for 11 years.
I would like to add an addendum to yesterday's post. I want to make sure my friends know that it was in no way meant to point fingers. I know the things that have been said to me were said because you love me and you probably weren't sure what else to say! It's ok. I understand :)
That being said, I figured yesterday was about what not to say so today be would about what TO say/do...
The following is taken from my friend Chani's Blog, with her permission of course. I hate to just copy and paste but what she wrote is just perfect for how you can be a support and encouragement for me.
Please just be there for me. Be patient with me. Let me be angry. Let me have my breakdowns. Let me know that you're going to be there if I need you. If you see me post something on facebook, you don't have to give me advice. Just acknowledge that you see it. Don't ignore it. It hurts more when you don't acknowledge me. I know you don't know what to say, or you're afraid of offending me. So just let me know that you care. Say a prayer for me. Or send me good vibes. Whatever you believe in. Let me know you see me. It means more to me than you know. This is a lonely road. I have my girls that I talk to about it that are going through the same things, and it's nice to talk to people that truly understand. But it's also nice to know that my other friends care. Being positive can be really hard. To know that others care....it helps get through the roughest times.
ASK ME QUESTIONS! Please don't be shy. Honestly, it helps to talk about it. I'm a realist. I don't sugarcoat, so that's a warning. But don't make assumptions. Ask me. I'm an open book. If you have other friends that are going through these types of issues that aren't as open, it's good to have someone who will tell it like it is. But be prepared-hormones and emotions are all over the place. I'm not embarrassed to talk about any of it. If you ask questions, be prepared for a straight answer!
(Thanks Chani! I couldn't have said it better myself!)
Anyone who knows me knows that I've never kept my infertility a secret. I've known since I started having periods that something was wrong and I would have a hard time conceiving. Little did I know just how difficult it would be. I'm thankful for my friends and family who support me and pray for me. I'm thankful for the friends I've met who can speak my heart because unfortunately they are also suffering from infertility. I'm grateful to have someone who knows exactly what I'm feeling and at times can put my feelings into words when I struggle with it.
By the way, a hug will go a long way with me...but beware, I may start crying :)