Our Infertility Adoption Story- There's No Such Thing As An Unwanted Child or Pregnancy

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28)

Is it sad that I wasn't even aware that this awareness week existed?  Oh well...now I know...and now you do too. 
I think my biggest campaign for infertility awareness is the etiquette piece.  So many well meaning people say some really stupid stuff.  I've included a link that will hopefully educate and make you more "aware" :)  Infertility Etiquette For Friends and Family
I know it is hard to know what to say to someone who is dealing with infertility.  It's probably along the same lines as when you find out someone has terminal cancer with a couple of weeks to live.  I mean, what do you say to them?!  There are no words of comfort to offer and everything you say is just going to sound really insensitive, uncaring,  and yes maybe/probably stupid.  From my own personal experience I can tell you what not to say... (in no particular order)

1)  "just relax!  if you stop thinking about it so much it will happen"  Telling a woman with infertility to NOT think about it is like saying "Please ignore the gigantic purple elephant in the corner over there"

2) "have you thought about adoption/IVF?"  For me this is just as dumb as when my brother's dog went missing and everyone's first question was "have you checked the pound?"  Gee...no...never thought of that!  Thank you so much for that suggestion

3) "you've got lots of kids in your life to lead and guide!"  Quite frankly, there are days where I don't really care about anyone else's child.  I want my own! Sorry if that seems rude but it's how I feel.

4) "you're so young!  You don't want a baby now"  Bite me.  You don't know how "old" my ovaries are.  And who the heck are you to be telling me what I want and when I want it

5)"you can have my kids"  I don't want your kids.  I want MY child/ren

6) "is the problem with you or with him?"  Does it really matter??  Fact is, there's a problem and unless you are an infertility specialist, chances are you won't be able to determine a solution based off the source of the "problem"

7) "I am SO SICK of being pregnant"  Trust me...when I hear that, it takes every ounce of my being to not slap you upside your head...hard...with a chair.  I would give anything/everything to experience what you are "suffering".  I want nothing more than to feel the kicks to my insides

Well those are just a few of my experiences...

I'll be posting something every day for Infertility Awareness Week, so check back for an interesting story, personal experience,  or tidbit of info.

2 comments:

  1. What a great list! I think I've said every single one of these to you. :( Please know that I mean well and ask cause I care. I love you and want nothing more than you hear that you are pregnant. (PS- I'm totally digging the new background.)

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